Thursday, April 17, 2008

"I'm sorry about your divorce"........

So I go to pick Bug up from school today and his teacher corners me and says very discreetly..."I'm sorry about your divorce."

Puzzled I say "who's divorce?" Then like an idiot, I think she is talking about my parent's divorce that happened over 30 years ago. I then respond, with "yeah well that was a long time ago. We've all moved on by now." Realizing how stupid that sounded the second it left my lips, I then ask "wait what are we talking about?"

She then informs me that Bug has been acting up in class and when she asked him "what has gotten into you?" He gleefully announced that " it was just hard at home what with his parents getting a divorce and all. "


Ok let me be the first to set anyone that may be as confused as I was at this moment straight here. Rock star and I are nowhere near getting a divorce. We don't ever fight or even so much as bicker enough that would even sort of look like a divorce was on the horizon.

I mean usually I AM the last to know these kinds of things and all, but C'mon!!! Could you help a sista out here!!

I then found myself desperately trying to convince her that we were fine.

"No divorce here. ....
and no I'm not saying that to cover up the real truth.
No really.
We're great.
Never better.
Seriously I realize thats what people say to cover up real problems, but seriously.
We're fine. "

I found myself digging a hole. Why is it you always look guilty the harder you try not to? Maybe it's the school teacher thing, but it was all very awkward.

Needless to say, Bug got a swift talking to when we got home.

It was completely a repeat of something similar that happened last year.

Most of his school year last year, his baby brother spent a majority in and out of hospitals because of his asthma. Bug also went to a Christian school. So every day they would throw out prayer requests from the kids and pray for families and so on.

Well it seems that Bug got a little addicted to the attention and prayer. So when Peanut went a good several months without incident, Bug started to miss the spotlight. So he told everyone that his dog had died.

Everyone gathered around and hugged him and made him feel special (as you would do in that situation I guess) .
Problem was....he was busted the second I came and picked him up from school and had Libby (our dog) in the car with me. I will never forget his face as I pulled in. He was busted and he knew it. I made him write out a formal apology to everyone who had prayed for him.

So really it's just another notch in the belt of the boy who cried wolf.

The lesson here...these things always come back to bite you in the end.

Sometimes with the teeth of a dead dog :)


Anonymous said...

Laughing my fool head off!!!!
Im the mom of talented writer and can say, that there is No looming divorce in the horizon for this family.

Knowing that I wasn't the best role model...this family if doing fine.
The other day my daughter wasn't feeling well. Her husbands went to the store and not only got dinner (which he was going to make) but bought her popcycles and an Oprah magazine to read. Now thats a great husband.
There are a model family...

I am so proud of all of them. And love reading stories everyday. I feel like Im there.

Your mom

Lori Elliott said...


I am always in tears when I read your blog and this one....well, the tears were from laughing as it outloud to my parents who are here from out of town (they don't even know you but love those pictures of the fam) and we are just rolling around dad has tears too...from laughing! Noah, Noah, Noah!!

Reminds me of the time TJ was in first grade; I had neck surgery for a blown disc. Teacher asks the kids about "highs and lows" of the week and TJ says, "Well, if you are praying people, please pray for my Mom...she broke her neck and she may be paralyzed." WHAT???? "praying people..." it's a public school and they don't pray in school. Anyway, when his teacher told me that, we just laughed so hard.

Your mom hit it right on! Yes, you are an incredibly talented writer AND yes, you have a wonderful husband and a beautiful family and you and Jason are truly an amazing couple!!


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