Sunday, August 8, 2010

Save yourself!!! No where is safe!!!!

So you may remember we have had several coyote sightings over the past couple years. I have mentioned it here.

It's not really that big of a deal. We see them, we shoo them away. End of story.

This summer I have been seeing them more and more as I walk early in the mornings when they like to roam. No big deal. Just a part of suburban sprawl living. They were here first so short of my middle class guilt for moving into their home and setting up a Quiznos, there is not a lot I can do about our coexistence but leave them be.

But lately there have been a lot of cats missing and raccoon corpses across in the field that the boys have discovered. So it sort of just is what it is.

Well apparently Bug and his band of warriors (aka his friends) have been watching the local news and noted that the coyotes have made headlines. The coyotes, due to the urban sprawl and lack of food supply have been venturing into neighborhoods and helping themselves to nice snacks we have so nicely been leaving out like pet food and well....pets.
My boys have decided it was up to them to take their neighborhood back in manner of Braveheart.

One of Bug's friends which for anonymity sake I'll call Mikey, is one of the funniest kids to watch. Every group of kids no matter which gender has one kid in the group that gets picked on just for being plain weird. Poor Mikey has few social skills and just is sort of oblivious of the world around him. Usually weird parents spawn weird kids. But not so much the case here. His parents are totally cool and try desperately to get him around other kids in hopes that social skills may rub off on him. But not so much the case with Mikey. He will wander around the neighborhood dreaming about capturing dragons or werewolves and tries in vain to engage the other boys in his obsession with the mythical. The other boys usually openly mock his love of the make believe and he blows it off none the wiser.They are never cruel as I won't allow that kind of behavior, But he is just sort of "that kid" in the group. All the kids like him for his quirks and he does have lots of friends so it's not like he is an outcast or anything. He is the type of kid that will wander into our house when our kids are not even home and try to hang out with us or just use our bathroom because it was closest to him. Even though he lives on the same block.
Rockstar and I secretly have deemed him as either of these stereotypes.

Ralph Wiggum from the Simpsons

Or Butters from South ParkYeah he's "that kid".

He's a good kid, just a little odd but he cracks me up with his antics.

So enough background.

So Mikey comes blasting into our front door a couple days ago out of breath and in a frenzy.

Bug and his friend Skyler ask him "what seems to be the problem?"

He replies "Guys we have a serious problem on our hands!!!!The coyote's food source has run out and we need to protect ourselves and our families from this threat!!!We need to go right now up to your room and develop a plan!!"

Bug and Skyler look at each other and just sort of chuckle.
"Whatever Mikey." They say and go back into the family room where he follows.

"I'm serious this time!!! I saw one out in the field just now!!! He chased me all the way here!! We need to come up with a plan!!" he says nearly out of breath and hopping up and down.

Now mind you, it was 2 in the afternoon. A little unlikely that there were wandering coyotes in broad daylight in the middle of the day.

Bug- "Are you sure it was not just a dog? I doubt there is one out there now."

Mikey- "well it might have been a dog, but this is serious!!! It's up to us!!! "

Bug- "Ok Mikey, just chill the heck out!!! It's not like there is a T-rex waiting to pounce in the bushes!! It's just a dumb old coyote. He's more scared of us than we are of it. It's not like they eat people or anything!"

This is what I imagine was going through Mikey's mind right now...
They all decided that they would talk about their plans to stop the wild coyote and protect their families and civilization after they got their wits about them.

Another viewing of Jurassic park should do the trick to clear their minds.

Of course Mikey spent the majority of the movie in the other room peeking around the corner just in case the dinosaurs jumped through the screen and got him.

It took everything within me not to sneak up behind him and grab him just to watch him jump, but it turns out I'm not completely dead inside that I seek to destroy a child's nerves. I didn't, I just wanted to.

What like it wouldn't cross your mind?

So yeah as of yet, there have been no coyote hunting plans laid out, but I will keep you posted as it unfolds. The drama and excitement as my boys take their neighborhood back from the grips of the vicious man eating coyote.

To be continued......

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